Ode to Narcissism

Thoughts from Friday...

posted today.  Just because.

“It’s all subjective.”  This is a phrase I have been using a lot lately, and I’m not sure why.  It’s true, but why I feel the need to continue repeating it ad nauseam, I have no idea.  Maybe to reinforce the idea, or to have it resonate more permanently.  Maybe because I am crazy.

On blogging…

People blog because they want to connect.  Either they’re aware of this, or they’re not, but I firmly believe this to be the case.  Loneliness and connection are intertwined in this.  People just want to communicate - even into the great void that is the Internet.  And maybe this communication doesn’t mean anything and never will.  Maybe it doesn’t accomplish anything and in the end, we’ll still be lonely and disconnected, but I’d rather take action and do something.  I’d rather speak up and express and write - even if no one ever reads it and it ultimately means nothing and it doesn’t ever really affect anyone.  What it comes down to is this:  blogging makes me feel better.  It makes me feel connected in some way, even if that feeling is simply an illusion.  The process of writing and sharing and being emotionally vulnerable helps me to gain insight and grow as a person.  If that is the only end result, that’s fine with me.

On death and belief in the afterlife…

I am no fan of organized religion.  I don’t want to associate with any form of religion or religious idea - although I do have my own personal beliefs in loose form.  That being said, I think it’s really important for people to believe there’s more after death - in whatever form.  Otherwise, the grief would consume us.  Since her death, I have been thinking about this a lot.  It’s hard to know that she is not here, that I will never see her again, or hear her voice.  I feel that there has to be something after this life - even if it’s simply the recycling of the energy that was contained within our bodies (note:  see First Law of Thermodynamics).  However, as naive as I know this will sound, I have to admit that my beliefs are more romantic than that, if less developed.  I guess I’ll find out when my time comes.