Ode to Narcissism

Coke is the new...

Last night was a lot of fun.  I love going to shows at dirty little dive bars.  I am so glad The Guy’s band had this show booked at this specific location.  It was all grit and grime and unsavory characters and everything else that punk entails.  I am not a fan of being a “regular” at a bar - because I think that’s a sad way to live (or die) - but I am a huge fan of having bands play at dirty little dive bars because you get such a fun mix of people and the atmosphere is so electric.  I hate that I just wrote that line, but I couldn’t think of a better way to describe it.  

Like I said, I had a really good time.  A lot of our old friends came out - people in the “scene” (ugh - so patronizing to term it that).  I saw promoters, band-members, and other scenesters that I haven’t seen in years.  I was thinking about how accidental this all was for me - I have been inadvertently involved in this scene for the last four years or so.  More often than not, I’m a silent observer.  It’s amazing how much you learn about people just by sitting back and watching.    

During one of the many conversations that I was involved in last night, it was mentioned that coke is the new thing.  Well, the new old thing.  Coke is making a comeback.  I’ve seen it around, and I’ve seen it turn one charismatic lead singer into a ghost with a severe lack of talent.  I have acquaintances that are into it now, and people are talking about it at all of the shows.  And it just makes me laugh - because it’s ridiculous.  I don’t want to be too judgmental, but it’s just so damn cliche and unappealing and  conformist.  I’m no saint, but come on.  Oh, well.  People are going to do what they’re going to do, I guess.

This close friend of ours was there.  The one I had a short-lived thing with last summer.  We didn’t talk at first, but eventually he came up to me (per usual).  He told me he really liked the new haircut, and that it looked good.  He kept glancing at me, and hovering close.  We both share that secret.  We can never tell anyone, and I think (let me state the obvious here) that it’s something that lives between us and maybe always will.  Even if we were to part ways and never speak again, it would still fill the space between us.  It’ll always be there, dividing us and keeping us connected to each other.  And she was there with him.  I see what he sees.  She is genuinely sweet and interesting, and she’s lovely, but she’s not me.  And I think that still stings a little sometimes.

Time really does go by so fast.