Ode to Narcissism

More of the trivial.

Things are strange at the moment.  I did not realize dating was so crazy.

I know I sound like a mindless, boy-crazed simpleton, as men and dating are pretty much all I’ve been blogging about, but… Men are strange creatures.  Mostly they make me mad, but sometimes they do things that surprise me.

One of the guys I went out on a date with is already talking about a relationship and told me he was “smitten” with me.  And that was on the second date.  Does this scare anyone else?  Or should I just be flattered?  I don’t know.  He’s very good-looking, so generally I am distracted by that and let him say very odd things and just sort of shrug them off.  I did tell him I was seeing other people, too, though.  Seemed like the fair thing to do.  He didn’t like it much, but we’ve been on a third date and a fourth is in the works.  

I have a date tomorrow night with the guy who took me on the great date I last blogged about (who should not be confused with the guy who is already talking about a “relationship”).  He thought of the PERFECT second date.  Really - I’m in no way serious about him, but he does plan good dates.  We’re going to this restaurant / arcade, so we can have dinner and drinks, and then run around the arcade.  Is it lame that I think this is perfect?  Oh, well.  I do.  Skee-Ball is the love of my life.

I spoke with the ex yesterday.  It didn’t go well.  He’s been trying to reconnect with a lot of our old friends that we lost contact with.  Specifically, he’s been hanging around with one friend who has been trying to get in my pants since WAY before the relationship ended.  And my ex knows this, and was furious at the time, but apparently now he’s willing to overlook it.  I guess now that I’m not with him anymore, it doesn’t bother him that someone who was his friend was trying to get me in bed behind his back.  Oh, well.  I can’t blame him for wanting friends again - for wanting to reconnect.  I’ve been there.  I know what it’s like.  It just makes me sad.  People like that do not care about him, and he deserves better. But you can’t save someone from themselves.  I warned him - that’s the extent of what I can do.  But he steadfastly refuses to return my things to me.  And the bastard is keeping our dog.  This frustrates me to no end.

I’ve been slacking off in school lately.  Not good.  I just have no motivation to finish anything.  I’m tired all the time, bored with everything… Finals are coming up, so I really need to get back into shape and actually start working hard and studying.  I can’t afford to screw around too much.  I don’t know why I’ve been doing this.  Sometimes I fuck up just to fuck up, I think.  No one can hold on so tightly for so long and not expect the thing they’re holding onto to squeeze right out of their hands.  

I have no idea what I’m doing, but I guess that’s normal for 23.